There is something nearly every woman has that the majority of men do not.
No, I do not mean an overweening urge to throw both hands into the air and wave them around every time Katrina goes 'Whoo-oooah' in the chorus of 'Walking on Sunshine', although that might be a fair guess.
In fact, there are possibly more men who feel that impulse than do the thing I'm talking about.
And that is have a Toilet Talk. It's the truth about why we take so darn long in there.
When the Covid restrictions are passed, I am confident these clandestine closet conversations will recommence in earnest.
Linkedin suck-ups may boast about their Ted talks, but women talk in the toilet. We are unabashed about it. Whether it's to compliment a woman we barely know, or whether it's a full-on aggrieved gossip, that is where we chat.
We know men do not generally engage in this activity. I have it on good authority that men rarely give eye contact, just in case they accidentally catch a glimpse of something else and then can never look at Dave in sales in the same way again. Lucky Dave, I guess.
We love to talk. And the toilets are our space to do that. Generally, there are fewer 'listening ears' than would otherwise be gathered round the water cooler.
The toilet is our place to catch up on gossip, or to vent.
We can do all this in about five minutes: comfort a crying stranger, encourage someone, rejoice (or commiserate) when the little blue stick gives an unexpected positive; get excited over the flash of an engagement ring; or engage in a much-needed group vent about those daily obnoxities that grind us down.
Yes, I know 'obnoxities' is not a word, but it should be. Feel free to email me about it so I can go grumble about it in the toilet to whoever is willing to listen.
Okay, okay, I almost hear you say (through the three double doors of security that separate the toilets where we work from the rest of the workforce). But what has this got to do with pensions?
Coming to that. You see, in a flush of inspiration (pun most certainly intended) 40 years ago, women collectively complaining about their pay checks to each other discovered they were all being paid far less than their male peers for doing the same job.
In fact, it was June 7, 1968, when 850 women machinists working at the Ford Factory in Dagenham went on strike for equal pay after discovering they were being paid 15 per cent less than men for doing the same work.
How many of those initial conversations had been started at the bathroom sinks during breaks, before becoming part of a wider campaign?